Following Jesus Into the Darkness

Ministry Associate Calvin Chu preaches from Mark 14:32-41. Discussion points: Jesus may have felt very alone before his death because his disciples didn’t believe him, following Jesus doesn’t mean that we present as perfectly happy every day, knowing what is to come doesn’t comfort us, Jesus wept and asked for help in the midst of his suffering.

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  Scripture reader: [Mark 14:32-41] And they went to a place called Gethsemane, and he said to his disciples, "Sit here while I pray." And he took with him Peter and James and John and began to be greatly distressed and troubled, and he said to them, "My soul is very sorrowful, even to death. Remain here and watch." And going a little farther, he fell on the ground and prayed that if it were possible, the hour might pass from him. And he said, "Abba, Father, all things are possible for you. Remove this cup from me. Yet not what I will, but what you will."

  And he came and found them sleeping, and he said to Peter, "Simon, are you asleep? Could you not watch one hour? Watch and pray that you may not enter into into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak." And again he went away and prayed, saying the same words. And again he came and found them sleeping, for their eyes were very heavy, and they did not know what to answer him.

  And he came the third time and said to them, "Are you still sleeping and taking your rest? It is enough. The hour has come. The Son of Man is betrayed into the hands of sinners."

  This is the word of the Lord. Thanks be to God.

  Preacher: Good morning church. Good seeing you all. Yes, I am an extrovert, thanks for exposing me, Michael. merry Christmas. Happy new year. I find that the holiday season is like. One of the toughest times to like not be OK, you know what I'm saying, like I, I like if you're struggling, it could be one of those difficult seasons, especially if you, you feel kind of miserable like forget happy this, forget marry that like honestly if you're not doing well during the season, like ba humbug kind of makes too much sense, you know what I mean like you, I'm like I kind of get it, you know.

  But I find actually it's particularly challenging for Christians because it's like we're doing all this, the trees and the carols and it's like we we're celebrating and acknowledging the birth of the savior, right? And so like if you're not doing well as a Christian during the season it's just like oh like what's wrong with me? Like it's almost like un-Christian. If you're not doing well during this time, it's like, oh, so, so then I think a lot of times we end up sort of like putting up this front of like yay, joy to the world, even though internally we're just sort of like oh. Or maybe even worse.

  And I think You know, a lot of times Christians, you know, particularly in my previous context, you know, I, I grew up, in a, Chinese heritage church and so in terms of Chinese culture there's this thing called like saving face. It's not that we have the market cornered in it, but it, it's something that's very, very strong for us and so the idea of like how you show up in public is really, really important because if you were to show up not fully put together then you're like bringing shame upon yourself and maybe even your family.

  Again, a big part of of my culture, growing up and, and so then it's like admit you weren't OK. I mean whether Christmas or not, it's like really, really bad and again this and that sort of doubles even more so for Christians because it's just like, well yes, you can't bring shame to your family but also like you should that that we have this pressure of like you should recognize that you've been so blessed like Jesus died for your sins. Like what do you have to complain about? And so I think a lot of times there's this like unspoken, unwritten belief that like to be a good Christian means like never showing the hard stuff.

  I, I kind of wonder, you know, I'm still relatively new here and I, I love, I love CoaH. It doesn't, it's my home church, and one thing that I love about it is like I've seen like people up here tearing up and crying and it's like, oh, that's really refreshing cause, cause especially concerning coming from my previous context. But I do still wonder like how much of that like face saving still shows up here too maybe not every single week but I imagine that we all have moments where we try to like keep quiet maybe we think I I I don't wanna bother anyone with my problems you know they've got enough going on and they don't have to deal with my stuff too and so we kind of quietly suffer, you know what I'm saying?

  Or I think the big one is like, well, Jesus died for my sins, so like. This isn't really a big deal. Like that's taken care of, so all this other sadness or anger or frustration or loneliness. Yeah, it's not, I'm now I'll just sweep it under the rug because that's what good Christians do. you know, we, we, as we suffer by ourselves, we, we almost justify thinking like. God helps those who help themselves, which is not in the Bible, or, or like good Christians depend on Christ and Christ alone, like nothing else.

  But where do these ideas come from? Like where does this idea that to live a Christian life, to truly follow Christ, is to do it by ourselves and to not show our weakness and not show vulnerability. Is that really what God wants from us? And I, I think as we've already read the passage, but I think what what passage will will further see as we continue to dive into it, I think it tells a really, really different story. And as we look at it, I think we'll get a deeper understanding of, of who Jesus is and the example that he sets for us.

  And so, for some context, this is like a very well known passage, we see the classic things of this passage. It's Jesus praying in the garden of Assemane, the disciples falling asleep, and Jesus like seemingly calling them out for their weaknesses and um. I think a lot of sermons that I've heard and even some commentaries that I read it talks about like, are you ready to stay awake for the Lord, you know, like, and it's, it's like those messages are true. I think that that that's like that's in the text for sure of like, you know, the spirit is willing but the the flesh is weak, but I think as we take a closer look from a different angle, I think we gain a clear understanding of Jesus and and the the deep insight that We can gain for how we can live inspired by his example.

  So let me pray for us one more time as we prepare to look at this passage a little bit more. Let's pray. Father God, I just thank you, that we do get to celebrate Christmas, that we do get to look forward to a new year, and yes, merry Christmas, happy New Year, those things are all true. God, I do pray for all those of us here who Maybe aren't feeling it maybe aren't exactly in a great place right now and and God I pray for those of us who are quietly suffering by ourselves, God and I pray that your word, that your Holy Spirit would open up our eyes, open up our hearts to see and to feel and to to really know that God you want us to live perhaps differently than how we have been. And so God, we, we know that that requires trust in you and trust in one another. So God, we pray that that would begin for many of us, maybe a lot of us from seeing this passage and seeing, Christ's example, here. And so Lord, we thank you that you hear our prayers and look forward to how you will change us from the hearing of your word and pray all this is Jesus' name. Amen.

  And so let's, let's begin by what leads up to this passage, right? So it's fair to say that this is probably like the hardest few days of Jesus's life. I mean, you know, he, he's going to die on the cross. Suffer brutal beatings and, and so like, but like what leads up to it is actually just as hard and so in in the I it's not we didn't read it but I'm gonna read some some text here.

  So the verses that precede this starting at 25 to 28, it says this truly I say to you, I will not drink again of the fruit of the vine until that day when I drink it new in the kingdom of God. And when they have sung a hymn, they went out to the mount of Olives. And this is Jesus saying, you will all fall away, for it is written, I will strike the shepherd and the sheep will be scattered, but after I am raised up, I will go before you to Galilee.

  So what's on Jesus's mind? Just on these, these few verses right here, we see that he knows his death is coming. He knows it will be painful, it'll be humiliating, it'll be embarrassing, and, and it'll be just, just brutal. And he knows it'll be unjust and he knows it won't be deserved, right? So he, he's talking about he he basically saying I know I'm going to die. And then he goes and he's talking to his friends, his disciples, and he's saying. Look, When this happens, when I die, you will all abandon me. And he doesn't talk about the fact that he's gonna be betrayed by one of his closest friends or one of his closest colleagues for money basically. He doesn't even talk about that, but that's surely gotta be on his mind.

  And so if you put yourself into Jesus' shoes, he knows he's going to die. He knows his friends are going to abandon him. He knows that one of them is the reason that, you know, at least in terms of the legal system, he's going to die. And then what happens is he tries to tell his friends after countless prophecies, countless miracles, having just sort of divine like wisdom and like understanding, and as he tells it to them they go, Nah, Jesus, you're crazy like no, we will never abandon you. We are strong like we love you we salute you we like you don't have to worry about that Jesus. You're wrong.

  And so as Jesus is going through like the psychological anguish of knowing his end is coming. And telling his friends that like, listen, you're you're gonna scatter. They totally invalidate him and invalidate his understanding, basically discounting all the things that he's already done. And so not only that, like one of his closest friends, like which is Peter, he says this, even though they, they all fall away, I will not. But Jesus replies, truly I tell you this very night before the rooster crows twice, you will deny me three times. Still, Peter insists in fact, if I must die with you, I will not deny you. And all the and the others all echo the same sentiment, like no Jesus, you're crazy. There's no way. There's no way.

  And so this sort of sets up this like how like crazy difficult this moment is going to be because I imagine Jesus feels incredibly alone here. He knows he's going to die the death that he's going to die, that he doesn't deserve. And as he sort of tells his friends, his, his, his colleagues, the disciples, he's like, listen, you're, you're going to do this and like I want you to know. And then they're like, no, Jesus, quiet Jesus, you, you need to stop. Instead of sort of like being on the same page. And Jesus is sort of like sitting in this all by himself.

  And so it brings us to Gethsemane. Which we already read but I'll read it one more time and they went to the place called Gethsemane and he said to his disciples, sit here while I pray. And then he took with him, so they're, they're in one, the, the disciples are with them in one place, but then he takes Peter and James and John and began to be greatly distressed and troubled. And he said to them, my soul is very sorrowful, even to death, remain here and watch. And going a little further, farther, he fell on the ground and prayed that if it were possible, the hour might pass from him.

  And so again, Jesus knows he's going to die. He knows his friends will abandon him and in the case of Judas betray him, and he knows that he alone can bear that burden. And you see it because in verse 33, the, the, it says he became greatly distressed and troubled, verse 34 it says his soul is sorrowful even to death. The word sorrowful here means very sad. And so Jesus is like emotionally low. He's probably anxious. He knows he's going to die soon and hoping he could avoid it.

  So honestly he's probably just emotionally tired. He's like carrying this weight and this is the first we hear of it, but it's probably on the back of his mind for a while. And then the word distress in verse 33 at one of the commentaries that I said this, it describes it as the greatest possible degree of horror and suffering, allowing us to see that Jesus suffering psychological anguish before his physical suffering.

  So it's, it's really easy for us to think of what Jesus through the lens of his divinity. Like what Jesus, he, he performed miracles. He, he walked on water. He healed people, right? He, he, he did he multiplied bread and fish. Like he, we, we think about Jesus through his divinity and, and that is true that Jesus was fully God. But I feel like we also have to remember that Jesus was fully human. And I think if we look at it from his the the lens of his humanity. Then I think We we really see what he's going through. I mean imagine this was you you had to go through something difficult and you knew it was coming and you tell your friends like this is gonna happen like no you're it's not gonna happen. Don't don't worry about you, but you know it's going to happen and you know it's gonna be painful. How alone would you feel? And I imagine that's a fraction of what Jesus was going to what Jesus felt that.

  And I think this reality that Jesus suffered alone and in his anguish like he he felt deep anguish, deep anxiety, deep sadness, deep distress. I think it does two things for us actually. I think the first is, it means to be a Christian, mean to follow Christ. It means that Going through hard things is normal. Let me say that one more time. If you are here, and I don't assume that we're all Christian or we're all good with Jesus, but if you're here, you have to understand that following Jesus does not mean that everything is perfect. Following Jesus does not mean that you have to present like go tell it on the mountain every single day of the year, every moment of your life.

  To be a follower of Christ is to follow Jesus into the darkness. Jesus went there he was incredibly distressed. He showed it to his friends. And so for us here, if we're follower of Jesus, then follow his example. Know that that is a reality that Jesus showed us to exemplify. And so, I think it's worthy for us to really take a gut check and see. Is Christ our inspiration for how we're behaving when we show up through the walls of this building, when we show up for prayer time on a Tuesday, when we show up for CG.

  When we see our Christian, you know, brother or sister in, in the neighborhood or the the co-worker we know who is a Christian at work, how do we present ourselves? And do we have this pressure to seem like all this hunky dory. And where does that come from? Is Jesus your inspiration or is it something else? I think for a lot of us, it's, it's, it's probably something else. Or maybe we're not fully understanding that Jesus was fully human and he suffered, and he showed it. I'm really curious to see. What a community looks like when we exemplify that, that example that God shows to us through Jesus' sufferings in the tough times that he faced. So we have an idea of how it is when we show up through the tough times that we face.

  I think the other thing that happens is, I think a lot of times when we go through hard times. We, we, we do, we do, we do two things, I think a lot of times we jump straight to God and that's good. for those of us who are Christian, we, we, we can definitely jump straight to God, and I think we ask for, for two things. I think the first thing is to go, God, take it away like, God, this hard thing is happening or it's gonna happen. God make it not so. And I, and I think that's good. asking God to solve our problems is, is not a bad thing. I think God wants that type of relationship where we see Him as our primary source of deliverance and comfort and support.

  But very often God doesn't just make it happen and make it go away. And, and I think that when that happens, I think very often we go to God and we go. God will just, just at least tell me how it'll end up. God, show me, give me wisdom, help me discern, like what the end will be. and I think it's it manifests like God just, just tell me what the, the diagnosis is, you know, God, just tell me, whether this relationship will make it or not. God would show me if I will ever get the thing that I want so badly, God, just just just tell me. It just just if, if I'm not gonna just at least let me know. God, will I make it or will I won't make it? Just, just, just tell me, God, so I can deal with it. And I think the reason we we go there.

  And I think it's the same reason that a lot of us go to God first to solve it for us is because we're sort of. We want the control. We want to know because we want to like if I know the destination at least I get to determine how I get there and it's like, OK God, just tell it to me and then I'll know the city I'm supposed to end in but I'll take a plane or take a train or I'll drive there however it is again metaphorical city. And so that we can sort of control what's going to happen. And we can get it there on our own terms.

  But in life's most difficult cir circumstances, like we don't really ever have control. And I don't think that knowing the end. Automatically makes it like better or makes it like tangibly better at least. Previously I talked about how my mom passed away a few years ago, um. And when my eldest son was born he my my mom was like over the moon like she was like so excited and she would like show up like multiple times a day sometimes she would like show up, drop something off and just be like hey like here's this thing I got you and she's like OK bye and just like would drive off and then she would show up within like another like. It's 20 minutes and just be like oh hey I got this thing for you. OK bye and like a you know when you're first, at least my experience like when you first have a baby, especially your a first baby, you're just like you have no idea what's going on. You, you're just completely lost and so like. It just seemed like kind of weird what's happening with my mom, but it's like she's just probably really, really excited.

  And so, but as time progressed and we noticed like some of the behaviors were like happening like kind of prolonged like over multiple days and weeks and months, we, we were just like OK this something something is weird here and so we went and we, we took her to a neurologist and we found out that the uh. The the thing that was inspiring her was in part the, the grandchild, but we, we found out that she had, dementia. It's, it's frontotemporal dementia if, if you want to know what type, but the thing I reason to say that is because it's, a big, symptom of that is lack of impulse control and so basically like that's why my mom was like, oh, I wanna do this thing, drive off. Oh, and this other thing, drive back and then just she would be doing things like that. And basically we found out, basically after we had that diagnosis she had about 5 to 10 years of life remaining from, you know, general range of what would happen. She was relatively young of course and so you know we knew that like this is this is happening like we knew that. Her life would be shortened greatly, from, from what we had expected, and, and so we knew that, you know, we, we would have maybe 5 to 10 more years, and, and the, the, the neurologist was saying that it's it's a degenerative disease so she's actually probably had it for longer. It's just it doesn't show up until it gets to a certain degree.

  And so we as a family we have tried to figure it out and and we knew we had time, but it still made like the next few years really really difficult part of it is because we knew that she had FTD but also like so that was about, yeah, 2015 and then like a little over a year after we got that diagnosis we noticed her arms and all of a sudden she couldn't raise her arms above her elbows. And so that's weird. Like, is that because of like an impulse culture? Is that the dementia? And so we took her back to the doctor. And they said, yeah, like we did some scans and we, we realized that There's a, there's a genetic mutation, there's a link between FTD and ALS and so basically it's like the same mutation that causes both of them and so there's like a 10% chance that people who get FTD are gonna get ALS and that happened to my mom and so the the chances of survival is from from 5 to 10 to about 2 to 5 and so we're just sort of shaving the years off at this point.

  It's obviously incredibly difficult to deal with someone that has dementia and then it's incredibly difficult to have someone that has ALS and then it's incredibly difficult to have someone that has both. And so this whole time we're fully aware we know everything that the doctors are telling us we know the timelines we know all the the the symptoms, we know all the things that we can do we acknowledge is not the problem. But knowledge alone did not bring comfort.

  And I think so often, we think knowledge alone will bring comfort, like all the comfort that's all we need. God just tell me, just show me, just, just, just help me understand and once I know, it'll automatically be better. But it does And I think if you're sitting here and you think about it. Yeah, it would be great to know what happens. But sometimes knowing doesn't actually do anything to provide comfort and support. It does not automatically make things easier. So what does?

  I believe the key difference lies in Jesus's example in this passage. He knew exactly what was ahead of him, the betrayal, the abandonment, the injustice, the suffering. He had complete understanding about what was about to happen and unfold. Yet that knowledge didn't take away his distress. In fact, in verse 35, he literally falls on the ground. He's so distressed. He still endured that deep pain and anguish. But rather than just sort of like suffer alone. He wanted comfort and support from those around him. Right? He he it's not like the disciples provided some kind word or some deep theological insight. It's not like they prayed a prayer that like changed things for Jesus. But actually he just wants them here.

  I'll read it one more time. And they went to a place called Gethsemane, and he said to the disciples, sit here while I pray. And he took Peter and James and John and began to be greatly distressed and troubled, and he said to them, My soul is very sorrowful even to death, remain here and watch. And going a little farther, he fell on the ground and prayed that if it were possible, the hour might pass from him. And he said, Abba, Father, all things are possible for you. Remove this cup from me, yet not what I will, but what you will. And he came and found them sleeping and said to Peter, Simon, are you sleeping? Could you not watch one hour? Watch and pray that you may not enter into temptation. The spirit is indeed willing but the flesh is weak. And again he went away and prayed, saying the same words. And again he came back and found them sleeping, for their eyes were very heavy and did not know what to answer him. And they came the 3rd time and said to them, are you sleeping and taking your rest? It is enough. The hour has come, the Son of Man is betrayed into the hands of sinners.

  What do we see here? Jesus asked his friends for help. He invited them into the mess. He invited them into the pain. Their presence was important. They didn't do anything really. They fell asleep and understandably they were tired. They've been up a long time. It was like basically like midnight, like end of the day. And yet he still says, come and he he goes there, comes back 3 times. I don't know if I would have had that patience. I listen guys, I need you guys to do something. You're not doing it. Just, just get out of here. It's probably how I would feel. But their presence is so important. That he, even though they're sleeping 3 times. He still comes back, still connects with them. It's like, are you sleeping? I, I, I really want you guys, I really need you guys to help me. I really need you to watch and pray. And don't do it. And yet Jesus does not kick them out.

  And like we talk so much in the church about following Jesus and modeling his examples and, and I think we look into things like, you know, like. When Jesus flips over table it's like, yeah, that's my Jesus. I'm gonna, I'm coming for all heresy. Like I'm gonna flip all tables, you know, it's like we do that or we have this idea of like, oh you want during like communion with like you look at Jesus's, you know, his hands are pierced his feet were pierces it's like, you know, to, to, to just to suffer, to carry our cross daily.

  And I think we have this sense of like a strong, like rugged Jesus. And we say, well, you know, Jesus, he, he did all this teaching and all these mirrors. What can't he do? Well, he, he couldn't get through suffering without asking for help. And so all the things that we think about Jesus that he can do and has done, did do. Yes, that's true. That's a sign of his strength. It's a sign of how amazing he was. And yet while he suffered, He still asks for help. While he suffered, he still wept amongst his friends.

  So, I mean, I don't wanna, I don't want to get it twisted like Jesus does turn to the Father, like the main reason that he's there is to pray. So yes, Jesus's primary source of strength and solace is the Father. You know, in, in fact, in the, the, the word ABA, and maybe you know this, if you grew up in the church a long time, ABA is like a, like a, a word of like intimacy. I don't know if you have friends or or other churches or like your college, you know, or, or, you know, fellowships or small groups or whatever, and you know, you ever have someone that's. Pray that Daddy, like heavenly daddy or like like anyway that you're just a cow. What are you talking about? Abba is basically the equivalent of like daddy. It's like a, it's like a a word of affection. And so the only place that Jesus uses this term for the Father. And so it it points to this deep intimacy that he has with the Father, but at the same time, the Father does not answer the prayer that Jesus asks in the way that he wants. He said, if you would remove this cup and and the father does not do it.

  And, and I think that's a big reason why he, he, he invited those disciples with him. Because he needed the comfort, he needed the support. But it's not an either or situation. It's not. I go to the Father or I go to the friends. So when my friends aren't available, then I go to God. I I don't think that's right. If I go to the God, well then I don't need to go to my friends. I don't think it's it's not mutually exclusive. I think both can exist at the same time. Jesus valued the relationship that he had with the Father. But he also valued the relationship he had with his community, with his friends.

  And so and of course, this looks different for us because we're not Jesus, we're not called to suffer like Jesus did here. We can't like that he went through that agony and death on the cross alone because only he could do it. So that is not for us, and he did it for us. He is on behalf of us. But I do think it's part of the normal Christian experience that we should prepare to, yes, agonize in prayer. But also agonized in community. As we wait the answer for prayer as we await complete redemption when Jesus returns.

  And like I, I get it. I get this is hard, you know, you're all very accomplished in your lives like this I've met many impressive people here at COA for sure and, and, and I, I, I know it must be hard for you to have be one of the most brilliant minds in your fields, but I don't, I don't need to be the top of my field and I'm not, trust me, but I know, I know it's hard to ask for help because you wanna know why? because I shop at Costco. And I don't mean like the long lines leaving that Everett Plaza if you know what I'm talking about, then you know what I'm talking about. This is what I mean. I, I mean I know it's hard because if you go to Costco, you get giant size products. You, you, you want 6 gallons of of yogurt, you got it. You want 3 gallons of mayonnaise? OK, that's cool. That's, that's awesome.

  And so for me, I, when I was growing up, one of my primary responsibilities was taking the groceries in from the car. We didn't shop at Costco, but just the, the standard like plastic shopping bags, and so I perfected this technique and you can ask my family because they will attest to this. I. People think, oh, well, you have two things that you can hold bags with. No, no, no, no, no. I can hold at least 8 bags in my hands because each one of these is a bag holder and I also have these and so for me I prided myself on being able to get in from the car with the groceries in hand like this and so it's, you know, plastic bags aren't really as much in anymore and it's fine and you can't put stuff in pla pla plastic bags from Costco because that's where I go shopping.

  And so if you drive by my house after I've done a Costco run, you will see a 40 year old man carrying 6 gallons of mayonnaise, you know, you know, 3 spiral hands in one pack. You see I'm gonna be carrying it like this from my car and I was just walking here. And then you know my wife like could you need help? I'm like, no, I got it. I'm good. I'm just lumbering to think and then you get to the screen door and well I, I can't put it down because it's a very tenuous balance, you know, I got eggs on my shoulders, you know. And so I'll take the one spare pinky that I have in the finger and I'll, I'll just do the, I'll press the door and I'll take the pinky and I'll fling it open, not dropping anything because I'm nice like that and I'll do a catch with my foot. And I'll do the the the the the pick and roll and I'll spin in. And I'll get to it and I'll lock the door. Cause I'm nice like that. It's a sight to behold.

  And it's like funny to imagine me doing this. It's like why would, why don't you just ask for help, Calvin? That's ridiculous. You know, I've got strong young boys, they can surely, yes, he's volunteering right now, so great. I've got kids. They can go get it for love. No, no, no, no. I, I got this. I got this. And it's silly and it's funny to imagine me doing it. But yet when you and I choose to suffer by ourselves. It is exactly that. We're putting an unnecessary weight on us to do to suffer by ourselves when there are plenty of people around who want to who can carry the burden with you.

  Do we see that the faith that Jesus exemplified is a communal one? Do we see it as one where we get into life's messes with one another? Where we carry the load together. Or do we feel like following Jesus? Is a solo adventure. One that should have neat boundaries where we never ask for help, we're entirely self-sufficient we never appear weak, we never appear vulnerable, never burden other people. If you fall into a later ladder camp. I think it's worth taking a closer look at the Jesus we see in this passage. And so we should be like Jesus, pray fervently, ask the Father in faith and openness to his will. Yes, we should wait on his timing and desire for his will to be done over our will. But we should also ask for help from our brothers and sisters in Christ because to ask for help is to be like Christ.

  I truly believe that as we deepen our friendships with one another here at CoaH, our community will be transformed. This doesn't mean that we need to constantly share our most deepest and darkest difficult parts of our lives. But I think Especially if we're gonna be in the resolution. Mode, making plans and hoping for changes in the new year. That maybe we think about resolving to growing vulnerability. To the people that we worship with, maybe it means going and checking out one of our CGs. Maybe you've been really hesitant to go because you're like, Oh well, really, what's the point? Like I, I can do this on my own. I got YouTube's got plenty of sermons. I can listen to plenty of podcasts that teach me how to live the Christian life, and there's plenty of books. So why do I need other people?

  Well. If you don't feel like you don't need other people, then maybe you're misunderstanding what Jesus did. Because he needed people. He needed to be vulnerable. He needed to open up. His life and invite people in. But his sacrifices what not only is the example. But it's also the means. When Jesus died on the cross for us. It changes us and makes us a new creation. It turns us into something that is totally and entirely different one that no that goes we go from seeing us as the sole provider for ourselves our sole deliverer our own personal savior to understanding that Jesus is that savior. And that when the Holy Spirit dwells within us, it allows us to see the world differently, better see our own needs. And better see the people around us who yeah. Maybe we're afraid that they're gonna hurt us. Maybe we're afraid that they're gonna let us down. But Jesus was let down by his community. And he showed them grace. Not once, not 2, 3 times in a very short amount of time.

  And so I hope that we see that his sacrifice not only exemplifies the vulnerability. But it gives us that new heart and that new identity in him. And I really believe that with the spirit is at work in us, it helped us build. A kind of trust that makes the type of connection that we're talking about here possible. So as we prepare to take communion. I I I hope that we will really reflect. And what are the, who, who was our savior? If we say Jesus, then right. Who is our example? We say Jesus, then great. But then I, then I hope that we will say, OK, well, God, how, how have I not been inviting people into my life or God, how have I not been the type of person that people want to invite? Maybe I've been blocking people off because I'm afraid of letting people down.

  And as we get right with God and as as God gives us insight and God opens our eyes and opens our hearts to see how he may want us to change, then I then I think this communion meal will hopefully taste sweeter, better. Because it knows that change will come. I'll pray for us for the communion meal and invite the, the worship team to come up while I pray.

  Father God, I know that this is not the easiest message to hear, cause God, maybe some of us really like to suffer quietly on our own. We don't want to be disrupted. We've got a, a rhythm going. We figured it out, we, we figured out how to function with the yuck. But God help us to see that you don't want us to live and suffer alone. Truly that is something that only Jesus could do. And so God, would you help us? Especially as we take this communion meal. To be, yes, remem remembering Christ's sacrifice, but also may it be the beginning of an invitation for the community around us. To comfort us, to support us, to love us so God we, we, we pray for the change in the coming days we pray for change in the coming year and God would you show us clearly the community that we have around us and the community that we can be in Christ. So Lord, we thank you and pray all this in Jesus' name, Amen.